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Baby Primarchs: Bathtime

The Emperor did a fourth head-count on his sons. It was bath day, and he was trying to make absolutely sure that he had them all. Normally he bathed his 21 sons on four consecutive days, but he had to go off-world the next day. He didn't want to leave Malcador with the onerous task of bathing the Primarchs.
His biggest concern was keeping them all in the bathroom. He had left the door open to provide ventilation, and keep the temperature in the room down. This did leave an avenue of escape for his naked, energetic sons.
As if realizing his concern, he was short a few Primarchs. He sighed in frustration as he stepped out of the bathroom to look for the escapees. This caused the others to flow out of the bathroom, and escape the residence. All 21 Primarchs vanished in the space of a few heartbeats.
The Emperor groaned as he began the search for his hiding sons. They were 3-years old, and were living up to the idea of the "terrible threes" as much as they had been the "terrible twos". One, Six, and Twelve were all also harder to bathe than the others, being the most resistant to bath time.
He hadn't gone far from the residence when he found Sixteen, who was just wandering around. Six was the next to be located, the Emperor had to wrestle his son to get him in line. Two was found not long after Six, he fell in line with a look from the Emperor, but there was a sullenness about it.
Ten was next, another the Emperor had to wrestle back into line. He located Three admiring some art in a corridor. Eighteen had gotten on a wall, and was hanging by a hand from a ledge. The Emperor reached up and pulled his son down, setting him on the floor.
Seven was the next the Emperor found, he had wandered towards the cold storage areas of the Palace. Thirteen was found trying to organize a small group of bemused serfs. Fifteen was fairly easy to locate, as all the Emperor really needed to do was follow the psychic trail. He was also headed towards the Library.
Nine was also found surrounded by bemused serfs. They were listening to him give a "speech". One was stalking something, but the Emperor didn't stay long enough to figure out what it was. Four was also climbing on the walls, he slipped and the Emperor caught him as he fell.
Fourteen had found an access point to the air filtration system, and was panting for breath when the Emperor pulled him out. Fifteen helped him find Seventeen, who came back to the Emperor quickly. The hardest part of finding Five was catching up with him while not losing the ones he already had.
The Emperor located Eight trying to gouge his eyes out in a darkened room. Eight's visions of the future had only recently manifested, and he was having trouble adjusting. Twelve was surrounded by a group of Custodians, whom he was trying to fight. Nineteen was only found with the aide of One, who stopped and started talking with an empty corner.
A head-count showed him that he was still short three sons. Two pointed out Eleven trying to hide behind a statue. Twenty and Twenty-One toddled up to the Emperor out of nowhere. Satisfied that he had all of his sons, he shepherded them back to the bathroom to be bathed. He made sure the doors out of the residence were locked so they couldn't escape again.
He started with the hardest to bathe first, determined to get them out of the way. One made an angry, animalistic sound of protest as the Emperor put him in the tub. Six growled and tried to get out of the tub, the Emperor had to keep pushing him back in. Twelve strained in the Emperor's grasp, trying to fight his way clear. Finally the three were bathed and he let them out of the tub. One got in a parting display of irritation by knocking the shampoo off the edge of the tub.
The Emperor bathed all of his other sons, most weren't as resistant as the first three. He did have to take special care of Nine's wings. That was the biggest difficulty in bathing the winged Primarch. Six was shaking the water off him like an animal, hitting some of his brothers with water droplets. This caused several of his brothers to glare at him, but they all knew they were getting wet soon enough.
Finally, he was finished with bathing all of the Primarchs and could move on the next step: dressing them. In a technical sense they could dress themselves for the most part, but were still had enough issues that he found it easier to do it for them. Nine had the most difficulties dressing himself due to his wings, he was the only one currently needing custom clothes. Eventually the others would need them due to their statures, but that was for the future, when they were adults.
Twelve was as resistant to being dressed, as he was with everything that wasn't directly related to fighting. The biggest issue with dressing Three was that he seemed to revel in his nudity. It meant the Emperor often had to deal with a tantrum. Three's tantrum's almost always set Ten into a sour mood as the two were so close.
"Dada!" Sixteen called out once all the Primarchs were dressed and allowed to leave the bathroom. "Pway Dada!"
"Pway?" Nine asked, looking up at the Emperor hopefully. Despite his best efforts the Primarchs were going through speech acquisition similarly to normal human children and were having problems with some sounds in High Gothic. The rest of the Primarchs joined in a chanting of "pway" and the Emperor gave in to the force of his sons. Twenty had hidden himself in his room, leaving Twenty-One out. The Primarchs couldn't count yet, which is how he got away with bathing the two at the same time.
"Alright," the Emperor said. "We can play."
The Primarchs cheered and giggled before running off to get their toys. The Emperor would try and play a bit with all of his sons, while also heading off any actual fights that may arise. Many of the Primarchs play-fought each other with soft swords, or axe, in Twelve's case. Malcador joked that Twelve had been born with an axe in his hand.
As he moved among his sons, the Emperor thought about their first words. One's official first word had been "hunt", though he had roared in perfect imitation of a Calibanite lion before that. Two's first word had been "food". Three's first word had been a proud shout of "me!" when he recognized his reflection. "Tool" was Four's first word and the Emperor wasn't even sure where he had heard it.
Five's first word had been "run" which came out more like "wun" in his child's voice. Much like One, Six had howled before he spoke, his first word was "snow". "Build?" had been Seven's first word, and question rolled into one. The Emperor almost thought that Eight's first word had been "Da", but it was actually "die", which he would happily say to anyone until the Emperor finally taught him another word.
Nine's first word had been "fly", or so the Emperor told himself. It was more appealing than "fry", but since it came out as "fwy" he couldn't be certain. Ten had said "fire" as his first word. The fact that he had cried it out in a crowded room had nearly caused a panic. Eleven's first word had been "hi-bye" always said together as if they were one word. Twelve's had been "blood", causing the Emperor to hurriedly check his son for injury.
Malcador had been present for Thirteen's first word, and swore it was supposed to be "negotiations" but he smashed the last two syllables together to make "negoshuns". Fourteen had been one of the last Primarchs to start talking, "scythe" had been his first word. Fifteen's first word was officially "book", but he was also the first to try and say Malcador's name, coming out as "Mawdor".
Sixteen's first word had actually been "dada" which pleased the Emperor to no end. Seventeen said "god" as his first word, causing the Emperor to facepalm. Eighteen's first word had been "forge". Valdor reported Nineteen's first word as "shadow" the Emperor was devastated to have missed it. Twenty's first word had been "snake", and Twenty-One had said "hydra". The Emperor was pleased that Malcador had missed those two.
Finally it was time to put the Primarchs to bed. They had tired themselves out with play and were content to cooperate as he gathered them together to read a bedtime story. He found it easier to read to them en masse than to read the same story twenty times in one night. They always wanted the same story anyway. When he was done, those who were still awake headed to their rooms, while the Emperor carried the sleeping ones. As he went to bed himself, the Emperor swore that he wouldn't bathe all of the Primarchs together again.


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ANNOUNCEMENT: So, this is the last story in my back log. I have some other story ideas, but they aren't written yet, let alone ready for posting. I'll put them up as I get them finished, it's just not likely to be weekly. I'm on Twitter, @Resslady (Lady Lion) and will try to post updates there. Feel free to throw ideas at me too if I've missed something you want to see!

Comments

  1. They're so cute as toddlers. I do hope you write more :)

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  2. Poor little Eight :( I love the idea of baby One roaring!

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