Bigfoot

The Primarchs entered the residence after Nova one day to find Malcador waiting for them. This was a surprise for the Primarchs, the Emperor hadn't mentioned anything that was likely to keep him late. It made them all very curious about what had come up.
"Don't worry," Malcador said. "It's not something as convoluted as the forgeworlds incident. He should be back late tonight, possibly in the morning."
"Politics," Horus grumbled when Malcador didn't continue.
"Correct," Malcador said.
"We learned about an old urban myth," the Lion said excitedly.
"Which one?" Malcador asked, there were several he could think of that the Lion would find interesting.
"Bigfoot," the Lion said. "It supposedly lived in Merica. Mostly in largely forested areas."
"From what I recall it's primary range was where Clade Venenum makes many of their poisons," Malcador mused.
"That sounds right," the Lion said. "Do you think it could have survived until now?"
"That implies that it was real to begin with," Roboute pointed out. "There's not a lot of proof on that one."
"I guess," the Lion sighed. "But what if it was that good at hiding itself?"
"How could it do that?" Roboute asked.
"I don't know," the Lion admitted. "But it's possible, forests can hide a lot of things."
"Bigfoot was supposed to be large though," Magnus pointed out.
"If the forest is close enough," the Lion insisted. "The forests of Caliban and Catachan both hide large and very dangerous things. It's very easy to pass right next to them without seeing them."
"But you would think there would be signs of births if Bigfoot as a species has survived," Roboute asserted.
"Not if the mothers ate the evidence," Malcador said. This earned him some strange looks from the Primarchs. "It's common for animals to eat the evidence of a birth. There's a lot of blood that results in apparent weakness. Some human cultures retained the practice as well for a long time."
"That's gross," Fulgrim announced.
"It makes sense though," Leman said. "It's a bit like how Freki and Geri eat their own puke."
"And their poop sometimes," Fulgrim said, he still looked disgusted.
"Father probably knows if Bigfoot existed," Lorgar suggested.
"Probably," the Lion admitted. "It would be fun if it was real and still around."
"You want to kill it," Horus said.
"Of course I do," the Lion said. "It's like a Great Beast on Terra."
"Bigfoot isn't as deadly as a Great Beast though," Malcador said. "Not from what I remember."
"No," the Lion admitted. "But it's probably the closest thing we have."
"What about the yeti?" Malcador asked.
"What's a yeti?" the Lion asked, looking more excited.
"It's often considered a relative of Bigfoot," Malcador explained. "However, it lived high in the mountains. In fact: it lived in these mountains."
"Really?" the Lion and Leman asked simultaneously. All of the Primarchs were more interested in this revelation.
"Yes," Malcador said. "It was also considered more dangerous than Bigfoot. It was said that it would come down into villages when the snows and cold killed all of its food."
"Do you think that survived?" the Lion asked, eyes dancing with the potential of a hunt.
"I'm not sure," Malcador said. "Though I have heard strange things during the nights. It's been a long time since that last happened though."
"What kind of strange things?" Lorgar asked.
"Howling, for the most part," Malcador said. "More likely the wind than anything else."
"What makes you think that it was something not the wind, then?" Magnus asked with a confused tilt of his head.
"Because I occasionally heard the howling when it wasn't windy," Malcador said.
"Could it have been something else?" Roboute asked. "Like wolves?"
"There aren't wolves in the Himalayzans," Malcador said. "Not for a very long time."
"Other predators?" Leman suggested questioningly.
"Maybe," Malcador admitted. "However, it didn't sound like any creature I know of."
"You're making this up," Lorgar said suddenly.
"Why would I do that?" Malcador asked. "It doesn't stop Lion's and Leman's interest."
"I guess," Lorgar said. "However, that doesn't make what you are telling us true."
"Are you accusing me of spinning tales?" Malcador asked.
"It wouldn't be the first time," Rogal said.
"I guess you're right about that," Malcador chuckled.
"Besides," the Lion said. "We should wait to hunt either Bigfoot or yeti until Father gets back. It won't be a fun hunt if they weren't real ever. If they were real, there might be one left."
"True," Leman said. "We can't have a hunt without prey."
"It's also time for you to do homework," Malcador said.
"Alright," the Primarchs chorused.

*******************************

The Emperor returned after the Primarchs went to bed. Malcador was waiting for him. He explained the Lion's new interest with Bigfoot and yeti. The Emperor chuckled and shook his head.

"I was hoping they wouldn't learn about those," the Emperor said.

"I may be responsible for the interest in the yeti," Malcador said. "Originally Lion was only talking about Bigfoot."

"Well, yeti would be closer," the Emperor said. "They still went to bed?"

"That took a bit of doing for most of them," Malcador said. 

"Lion, Leman, and Horus?" the Emperor asked.

"Naturally," Malcador said. "Though Mangus and Lorgar were also very interested. Mostly in the yeti."

"Magnus isn't surprising," the Emperor said. "Lorgar is a surprise."

"I agree," Malcador said from the doorway. "Good night."

+You did this on purpose+ the Emperor sent as Malcador left.

+Heh+ Malcador returned.

******************************

"Father!" the Lion said excitedly the next morning. "We learned about Bigfoot yesterday at Nova."

"Malcador told me," the Emperor replied. 

"He told us about yeti," Leman said, equally excited.

"Were they real?" the Lion asked.

"Can we hunt one?" Leman asked before the Emperor could answer.

"I don't think they were real, so no," the Emperor said to both Primarchs.

"But what about the noises Malcador heard?" Lorgar asked.

"What noises?" the Emperor asked.

"He said last night that he occasionally hears howling, even when the wind isn't blowing," Magnus said. "He said it could have been yeti."

"Not likely," the Emperor said. "Bigfoot likely never existed."

"But what about yeti?" Lorgar asked. "They aren't the same as Bigfoot."

"I will admit that they might have been real," the Emperor said. "However, if they did exist, they don't now."

"That sucks," Leman said, looking sad.

"Agreed," the Lion said pouting.

"Weren't you just saying last night that it wouldn't really be a hunt if there wasn't prey?" Roboute asked.

"I did," Leman admitted. "It's just kind of a let down after what we talked about last night."

"I guess I can see that," Roboute said.

"How do you know for sure that there aren't yeti now if you weren't sure they were there to start with?" Lorgar asked. 

"When I moved into the area, I had the mountains thoroughly investigated," the Emperor said. "Everything was cataloged. If there were yeti, they couldn't have hidden through that."

"But that doesn't explain the noises that Uncle Malcador heard," Magnus interjected.

"Malcador lived here before I did," the Emperor said. 

"Before the Palace?" Magnus asked.

"Yes," the Emperor said. "He used to live in the oldest parts of the Palace. He moved when the residentia were finished."

"I didn't know that," Magnus said. 

"It doesn't come up often," the Emperor said.

"We're getting away from Bigfoot and yeti," the Lion said, clearly wanting to try and get back to that.

"We've determined that there aren't any more yeti," Leman said. "If they were there to start with. So that leaves us with just Bigfoot."

"Bigfoot is not likely to exist," the Emperor said. "I doubt that Clade Venenum would allow for something that large to wander around where they grow their poisons."

"I guess," the Lion said with an exaggerated sigh. The Primarchs then went off to Nova.

*****************************

The Lion and Leman were both quiet when they came home. The Emperor watched them closely. He didn't want to encourage them in what would probably be a wild goose chase. It was still hard to see them quiet, especially Leman. The Lion was not always the most vocal of his sons, but Leman being quiet was always unsettling. When they had been much younger, it had been a great cause for concern when he couldn't hear Leman in another room. 

"Father?" Corvus asked after homework was done. 

"Yes?" the Emperor answered.

"Is it possible that there are Bigfeet on other planets?" Corvus asked. "It's been shown time and again that colonists name things on their new planets based on Terran animals or mythology."

"That is true," the Emperor said. "However, it wouldn't be the same thing. Also, I haven't heard any reports of Bigfoot-like creatures on rediscovered worlds."

"What about worlds that don't have people on them?" Corvus continued. "It's possible that the surveyors didn't see them looking for other things."

"It's possible," the Emperor admitted. "However, unlikely. Bigfoot got that name for a reason."

"But it also possibly hid on Terra for years," Corvus said. "You admitted this morning that you weren't able to confirm Bigfoot's existence."

"I could not," the Emperor agreed. "This doesn't change the fact that the majority of the areas that it was originally 'spotted' in have been altered to the point that other animals died out. If Bigfoot was real, it isn't there now."

Corvus glanced quickly over towards where the Lion was working on his homework. Seeing that his brother was occupied, he turned back to the Emperor. 

"Couldn't you get Cawl to make something?" Corvus asked sub-vocally. "To simulate Bigfoot, it would give them something to hunt."

The Emperor seemed to think about that for a moment. "Perhaps," he said. Corvus looked satisfied and headed off. 

The Emperor continued to think about Corvus's idea. The biggest issue that he could think of was that the Lion and Leman would want it to be a real animal. It wouldn't be the same with a psyber animal. He hadn't forgotten the Mechanicum Bull incident. Cawl was gifted, that was obvious, but he didn't have the necessary materials to create a realistic Bigfoot. 

Arkan Land wasn't an option, he was a researcher, not a creator. Naturally, he could make things, but they weren't as inspired as Cawl's work. A solution came to mind, the two weren't too opposed to each other. Land could get the information that Cawl required. He resolved to talk to both tech-priests in the morning. 

******************************

"This is a very strange request, Holy One," Land said. 

"I agree with my colleague," Cawl said. "However, I believe that this would be a unique challenge."

"I never said I had anything against it," Land said. "It is just a strange idea."

"Will you do it?" the Emperor asked. He didn't have a lot of time for this conversation.

"We will," Land said, with a glance at Cawl. Cawl bowed deeply to both Land and the Emperor.

"I appreciate this," the Emperor said and stepped away.

*****************************

The Emperor knew it would be awhile before Cawl and Land could get a psyber animal together. He decided not to tell the Primarchs outright that he was having one made. Somehow that felt like cheating the Lion and Leman from their hunt.

What he did do was start a rumor. He waited until Cawl and Land reported a promising beginning on the creation. The rumor was innocent enough: a member of Clade Venenum had spotted strange footprints in the rain forest. Malcador was the first to come to him with the rumor. 

"Why am I hearing from outside sources that Clade Venenum is finding strange footprints?" Malcador asked.

"It's not true," the Emperor assured Malcador. "It's a rumor that I started for Lion and Leman to learn of."

"Bigfoot," Malcador said after a moment. "I thought that wasn't real?"

"If it was, it's dead now," the Emperor said. "Cawl and Land are working together to build one."

"That's an interesting solution," Malcador said. 

"It was Corvus's idea," the Emperor admitted. "He wanted to cheer Lion up."

"Seems like Leman was also upset by this," Malcador pointed out. 

"True," the Emperor agreed. "It should be good for both of them."

"It probably will," Malcador said. "I guess I should tell Master Venenum to work with this rumor."

"Clade Vanus should probably also be informed," the Emperor said. "They could mess it up if they get a hold of the rumor."

"They would mess it up if they thought it would give them an advantage," Malcador said. "Though fabricating evidence is part of their area of expertise. They could be helpful if any of the Primarchs go digging."

"True," the Emperor said. "You would know that better than I."

"I'll see what I can arrange," Malcador said and headed off.

**************************

The Emperor's rumor, now fueled by Malcador, spread throughout the Imperial Palace. There was little doubt that it had also spread beyond the Palace, but that was all to the good to the Emperor.

The Primarchs heard about it, but were trying to keep quiet about it. The Lion and Leman didn't want to get their hopes up again. Perturabo and Magnus both began to try and verify the details that they had heard in the rumor.

"There's picts of the footprints," Perturabo said. "They seem legitimate."

"None of you think this is weird timing?" Roboute asked. 

"How so?" Leman asked.

"We get these rumors, and picts, not long after we learn about Bigfoot," Roboute said. "It's in the area that Bigfoot supposedly roamed, and Father has already told us that it isn't likely that Bigfoot survived to this millennium."

"There is a psychological phenomena that could explain it," Magnus said. "It's not uncommon for people to notice things frequently that they didn't notice until they learned about them."

"I guess," Roboute said. "I still think that it's suspicious."

"Do we tell Father about this?" Corvus asked.

"He probably already knows," Lorgar pointed out.

"Good point, Lorgar," Horus said. "But he doesn't tell us everything."

"That's true," Lorgar said. 

*************************

They opted not to tell the Emperor when he came home. He was curious as to whether they had heard the rumor that he had started. The Primarchs were getting better at hiding things from him, which he found lamentable. However, he would make sure that they knew when there was something for the Lion and Leman to hunt.

Roboute remained suspicious of the entire situation. He had never found Bigfoot to be a likely theoretical. There just wasn't enough physical evidence to convince him. The Primarchs would check for more Bigfoot evidence every few days. The evidence began to slowly pile up: tracks, hair, even droppings had been found that weren't consistent with the wildlife found in the area. 

"Are you convinced now?" Leman asked Roboute one day.

"I guess," Roboute said. "It's certainly getting harder to deny as we find more evidence."

"So you won't be a party-pooper when we ask Father if we can hunt it?" the Lion asked. He and Leman were slowly losing the fight to hide their excitement from the Emperor.

"No, I won't," Roboute said. He had been hoping for a few days that there would be enough evidence to convince him. They hadn't been to Merica, so it would be a new region to learn about. He didn't want to be left out of that.

"So, we ask him tonight?" Leman asked, trying to be sure that they were all in agreement.

"Yes," the Lion and Horus said together.

*************************

"Father!" the Lion called out as the Emperor entered the residence. "We've found new evidence of Bigfoot. It may have migrated away and returned to the Merican rain forests!"

"Can we hunt it, Allfather?" Leman asked on the heels of Lion's statement.

"I have also found this evidence," the Emperor said. "Clade Venenum has requested that something be done about this creature. It seems to be causing problems for them."

"Does that mean we are going?" Vulkan asked. He was more interested in protecting other humans, but hunting a strange large animal was also a fun idea. 

"Yes," the Emperor said. 

"All of us?" Lorgar asked, he looked up at the Emperor curiously.

"Yes," the Emperor repeated. "This Bigfoot is quite large, we may all be needed to corner it for the kill."

"Is Valdor coming with us?" Fulgrim asked. 

"Naturally," the Emperor said. Valdor had also approached the Emperor with the rumor. It had changed slightly, now a larger threat to interests in the area. "Though Malcador is going to be minding other things while we take care of this."

"That's probably a good thing," Magnus said. It didn't sound like something that would appeal to Malcador.

"We can bring its pelt back to show Malcador," the Lion said excitedly. "It's not a snake, so it shouldn't cause problems."

"He might like that," Magnus agreed. "Bigfoot made a cultural impact."

"It would go well next to the stuffed jackalope he has," the Emperor mused. 

"A stuffed what?" Magnus asked.

"A jackalope," the Emperor said with a chuckle. "It was a Merican folklore creature. A jackrabbit with a pair of antelope horns."

"There weren't antelope in Merica," Magnus objected.

"There weren't what is zoologically considered antelope in Merica," the Emperor corrected. "Just like there weren't buffalo. However, they were originally described as antelope as they are different from deer."

"True," Magnus said. He didn't like it when people got information wrong. He felt it was a perversion of knowledge.

"If it was a folklore creature, how can Malcador have a stuffed one?" Roboute asked. "Is it like Cuddles Maximus?"

"No," the Emperor said. "People would taxidermy jackrabbits and during the process add the pronghorn horns in."

"How did they get the horns?" Jaghatai asked. "Weren't they one of the fastest animals in the western hemisphere?"

"They were the fastest," the Emperor said. "However, they also shed their horns like they were antlers. They were the only horned animals to do that."

"It's really sad that those don't still exist," Jaghatai sighed. "It would have been cool to watch one run."

"We do have footage of pronghorn running," the Emperor said. "It's not the same as seeing the real animal, but it's all we have left of them."

"And a jackalope somewhere in the Palace," Lorgar added.

"And that," Jaghatai giggled.

******************************

They left to hunt Bigfoot the next morning. The Lion and Leman were the most excited, but the others were also curious. There was the excitement for Bigfoot, and exploring a new area they had never been to before. Lorgar and Alpharius were both happy that it wasn't as jungle-y as Catachan was. However, they were very interested in the idea of a northern rain forest. 

"This doesn't look like what I had expected," Magnus said. He sounded a little disappointed.

"What were you expecting?" Valdor asked curiously.

"I was thinking it would be more jungle-y like the picts we have of the Amazon rain forests," Magnus said.

"These are more like the forests of Pallern than that," the Lion agreed. "It's not even as close as the forests of Caliban."

"Or Catachan," Leman said. 

The Primarchs ranged around the Emperor and Valdor, looking for signs of Bigfoot. The Lion and Leman were both farther ahead than the others. Roboute and Lorgar kept closer to the Emperor.

"I found something!" Jaghatai called out. The other Primarchs converged on Jaghatai's location. He had found footprints.

"They aren't that old either," the Lion said excitedly. Leman had already started following the tracks. 

"This way!" he called out, pausing to look back when he realized that the others weren't with him.

"We're coming," Mortarion said. Leman turned around and bounded off again. Freki and Geri close on his heels. 

"What's that smell?" Angron asked after a bit. 

"It smells like poop," Fulgrim said, screwing his face up in disgust. "It's gross."

"We are outside," Ferrus said. "Things poop outside."

"I know," Fulgrim said. "But normally it doesn't smell this bad."

"I guess," Ferrus agreed. 

"Ugh!" Magnus called out suddenly. "I found the poop."

"Ew," Fulgrim said. Magnus stepped away from the group and wiped his feet on the grass, trying to get the poop off of his boots. 

"Is that Bigfoot poop?" Lorgar asked.

"Possibly," Magnus said. "I'm not sure I could tell at this point. I don't want to try either."

"Fair enough," Lorgar said with a bit of a chuckle.

They continued, following the tracks. They did find another pile of droppings at one point. The Lion was certain that this pile was Bigfoot poop. Leman was just as certain that they were getting close. 

"I can sense it now," the Lion said after a few hours. "This way."

The Primarchs got quiet as they continued. All of them were armed and armored. They froze when there was a rustling sound to one side. The group turned, Angron now in front. He threw one of his axes, aiming towards where he had heard the sound. The Lion and Leman cried out in dismay as it flew. There was a moment before they heard the sound of Angron's axe hitting a tree. 

It was Angron's turn to cry out in dismay. He then ran off into the trees after his axe. Valdor and the Emperor shared a glance. Both shook their heads, the Emperor with a slight smile, neither went after Angron. His passage through the forest after his axe was clearly audible. 

"Could he try to be quiet?" the Lion growled. "He's scaring it away."

"You tell him to be quiet," Roboute griped. 

"He'll settle down once he has his axe back," Leman said. "I hope."

"Hopefully," the Lion agreed. 

"I found something!" Angron called to the group.

"Your axe?" Vulkan asked, trying to get the others to lighten up.

"Besides my axe," Angron huffed. "It looks like it could be a nest or something."

The Lion and Leman were off without further prompting. The rest of the Primarchs followed after. It was much easier to follow Angron's tracks than it had been to follow Bigfoot's tracks. 

"That's different," Leman said. "It doesn't look like a bird's nest."

"Bird's aren't the only things that make nests though," Magnus pointed out. "There are still some fragmented records of gorillas making nests. If Bigfoot is related to them it could have similar behaviors."

"I guess," Leman said. He didn't sound convinced.

"Magnus has a point," the Lion said. "There are also other things that nest on the ground. Most reptilians nest on the ground."

"Bigfoot isn't a reptile though," Leman protested.

"Humans make nests," the Emperor said. "We just call them houses. Also, gorillas made a new nest every night. It's possible that it woke up and we heard it."

"That means it's close!" Leman said, getting excited again. He tried to keep his voice down so as not to drive Bigfoot further away from them. Everyone looked to the Lion, Ferrus felt that his auspex would make too much noise as they went.

The Lion motioned in the direction that he could sense Bigfoot. He also looked very excited, his green eyes were dancing with it. The new trail was easier to follow. The Emperor was hoping that it was Bigfoot and not something else that they were chasing. The Lion seemed convinced that it was Bigfoot.

Eventually they caught sight of the creature that they were following. The Lion shouted in joy, and Leman howled as they rushed forward. The others raced to catch up as the two got away from them. Bigfoot had stopped in the middle of a large clearing. The Primarchs quickly spread out to hem it in. The Lion and Leman continued to race each other to see who would get the kill. 

Both leaped at Bigfoot simultaneously. The creature swung an arm at them, catching Leman and only barely missing the Lion. Freki and Geri attacked Bigfoot's feet and legs. Leman bounced back quickly and joined the attack. The other Primarchs mostly kept back, preventing Bigfoot from escaping. Vulkan looked antsy, it wasn't clear if he wanted to join or if he was just excited to get to skin it.

Bigfoot threw the Lion away from it. He flew over the his brothers and hit a tree. Roboute stepped over when the Lion didn't rise. Leman noted this and fought harder. Valdor shared a glance with the Emperor before heading in to assist Leman in fighting Bigfoot. The Emperor headed over to the Lion and Roboute. 

Valdor tried his best to allow Leman to have the killing blow. He was aware that Bigfoot was a creation from the Mechanicum, and that Leman was unaware of that. However, it was very powerful. It seemed that the safety programming that Cawl had included in the Mechanicum Bull was absent in Bigfoot. Leman was trying to get in with his special chainsword called a frostblade. 

Leman was having issues finding a vulnerable point. It seemed that Cawl and Land had added reinforcements to make the kill more interesting. Cawl did too good of a job and it was preventing Leman from getting the final blow in. Valdor adjusted his fighting slightly, using the blade of his guardian spear to create a hole. Leman saw it and took advantage, driving his frostblade upwards into Bigfoot. 

"Ha!" Leman crowed as Bigfoot staggered and then fell. Valdor's slight smile was obscured by his helmet. It also hid his relief that the fluids coming from the injury looked like blood. 

"Is Lion alright?" Leman asked, turning his attention to his brother.

"I'm alright," the Lion replied. "It just knocked the wind out of me."

"That's good," Leman said. The Lion was sitting up, he didn't look too disappointed with having missed his chance to kill Bigfoot. "You aren't mad that I got the kill?"

"Not really," the Lion said. "It was fun hunting Bigfoot, but there are other beasts out there for me to kill."

"That's a good way of looking at it," the Emperor said with approval.

"This is a little big for me to skin by myself," Vulkan said hesitantly.

"I can help," Konrad offered. He pulled his knife out from under the cloak he wore over his armor. "If we work together we might even be able to clean it for preservation before we have to go home."

"That's true," Vulkan said. The two Primarchs didn't always agree with each other. Vulkan didn't usually approve of the terror tactics that Konrad employed with his Night Lords. However, in this case working together was the clear option.

Konrad was the first to spot something off. It was an obvious bionic component. He stopped abruptly and looked towards the Emperor questioningly.

"Is this a psyber construction?" Konrad asked. The Lion and Leman turned shocked gazes at their father.

"It is," the Emperor admitted. He had expected them to discover the nature of Bigfoot during the skinning.

"Why?" Leman asked, the Lion nodded his agreement with his brother.

"It was my idea," Corvus said. "You guys were upset by the lack of Bigfoot. I wanted to give you something to cheer you up."

"How long has it been out here?" Magnus asked.

"Three days," the Emperor said. Cawl had informed him of its release.

"But we've been finding picts of tracks and droppings for weeks," Perturabo objected. 

"I started the rumor that you all learned of," the Emperor said. "The evidence was provided by the Master of Assassins." None of the Primarchs knew that Malcador was the Master of Assassins. In fact, only five people in the entire Imperium knew who the Master of Assassins was. The Emperor wanted to keep it that way for the present.

"This makes it an even better partner to the jackalope," Ferrus said. 

"How so?" Fulgrim asked.

"It's a fake Bigfoot," Ferrus started. "A creation made to fill the void of Bigfoot never having existed. Father had one made from available parts to create it."

"Cawl's the one who did the work," the Emperor said. "Though the principle is the same."

"Clearly the safety programming from the Mechanicum Bull wasn't carried over to Bigfoot," the Lion said.

"Indeed," the Emperor said. "I was aiming for something that felt as authentic as could be made."

"Thanks, Father," the Lion said. "It was nice to be challenged."

"Is that why you're alright with missing the killing blow?" Leman asked.

The Lion shrugged. "I was also not awake to give it myself. Someone had to bring it down. I'm happy it was one of us and not Valdor like with the grox." Valdor chuckled at that comment. Konrad and Vulkan returned to skinning Bigfoot. Once they were done, the group made their way out of the forests.

*************************

The Primarchs waited until Malcador came over to babysit again. There were two reasons for this. One was they wanted to properly preserve the skin. The other was Magnus thought it would be fun to end the tale of Bigfoot that way. It was Malcador who had fueled the fires for the Lion and Leman to want to hunt it, and then they were able to. Finally, they had the opportunity.

"You're all suspiciously excited to see me," Malcador said as he entered. 

"We have something for you," Vulkan said. He and the Lion had worked together to preserve the skin.

"What's that?" Malcador asked, arching an eyebrow. "It's not a rubber snake is it?"

"Of course not," Vulkan said with a grimace. "It's better than a rubber snake."

"It's the skin of Bigfoot!" the Lion announced, bringing it into the room.

"Oho, and how did you get this?" Malcador asked. 

"It's not an actual Bigfoot," the Lion explained. "Father had one made for us to hunt. We thought you might like the skin as Bigfoot had a cultural impact on humanity."

"It would also go well with the jackalope you have somewhere," Angron supplied.

"Your father told you about that thing, did he?" Malcador chuckled. "You're right, it would go perfectly with that."