Valdor entered his master's residence and found bored looking Primarchs scattered about the living room. The Emperor had some late meetings to attend to, and Malcador was taking care of something on Luna, so Valdor was there to babysit.
"Anything in particular that you guys want to do?" Valdor asked as he took his seat on the large couch.
"Eating contest!" Leman said, perking up a bit.
"Noooo," Fulgrim said. "Mortarion always has the worst gas after one of those."
"I wasn't thinking of challenging Mortarion," Leman said. "I was going to challenge Valdor."
"No," Valdor said. He didn't want to know what kind of eating challenge Leman had in mind.
"Please?" Leman asked.
"No," Valdor repeated. "Not tonight."
"Why not?" Leman asked.
"I need to be able to watch everyone else," Valdor said.
"Alright," Leman sighed. He pouted a bit before going back to his own activity.
There was a chime from the kitchen indicating dinner was ready. They all trooped into the dining room and ate. Leman practically inhaled his food to make up for the lack of eating challenges.
"Slow down, Leman," the Lion said. "You should chew at least a bit."
"Lion has a point," Mortarion said. "You could get hiccups."
"Or choke on something," Valdor said. Leman slowed down a bit, but still finished before anyone else.
The hiccups began after dinner. Leman was walking Freki and Geri when the first hiccups hit him. He knew that hiccups usually passed on their own without much problem. It was easy to inhale small particles of dirt, or wolf hair, and cause hiccups. There was also the fact that he had eaten very quickly, and that could cause spasms in his diaphragm that were the root of hiccups.
They had not subsided by the time he returned to the residence. He released Freki and Geri from their leashes as he entered. The others noticed his hiccups almost instantly.
"How long have you had the hiccups?" Valdor asked.
"They started *hic* on the walk, Val-*hic*-dor," Leman said. "Valdor."
"We should try a spoonful of sugar," Jaghatai said. "That's supposed to help right?"
"I think so," Horus said. The Primarchs went into the kitchen with Valdor looking on from the doorway. They found a spoon, filled it with sugar and had Leman eat it. There was a pause, and Leman hiccupped again.
Konrad snuck up behind Leman and grabbed his arm. Leman let out a startled sound, that was disrupted by a hiccup.
"That's supposed to work," Konrad said with a slight pout.
"Water?" Mortarion suggested.
"Isn't he supposed to be upside down for that one?" the Lion asked.
"We can try *hic* it once each *hic* way," Leman said. He wanted the hiccups to stop, they were beginning to get annoying. The other Primarchs agreed to that. Vulkan got two glasses of water, Perturabo and Ferrus began working on a tube system for when they hung Leman upside down. Leman was still hiccupping after his first glass of water.
"How are we going to hang Leman upside down?" Roboute asked.
"I don't know," Magnus said. Horus thought about it a moment, and then turned to look at Valdor.
"I don't think this will work," Valdor said, as he picked up Leman and turned him over. Leman managed a smile before the tube was put in his mouth. After giving him the second cup of water, Valdor set him back down on his feet. Leman hiccupped again, and growled at himself.
"I have a suggestion," Valdor said. Leman looked up hopefully. "Peanut butter."
"Peanut butter?" Magnus asked.
"It works for Fellnor," Valdor said. "It seems to calm the throat."
"I'll *hic* try it," Leman said. Valdor found another clean spoon and a jar of peanut butter. Leman took the spoonful of peanut butter and ate it. He got it stuck on the roof of his mouth and began making clacking sounds as he worked at the peanut butter.
"It seems to be working," the Lion said. Leman made a strange sound that the others soon realized was laughter. Leman soon got the peanut butter unstuck from his mouth. The hiccups had stopped.
"That's better," Leman said.
"indeed," Valdor said with a smile.
"What are we going to do now?" Alpharius asked as they headed back into the living room from the kitchen.
"I'm going to wrestle Valdor," Leman declared as he leapt at Valdor. Now that he wasn't hiccupping he wanted to release energy. He was also feeling the effects of the sugar they had tried earlier.
Valdor let Leman come, knowing that he was in no danger. Leman would have bounced off if he hadn't grabbed on to Valdor's leg. He began to try and pull Valdor's leg out from under him, and was very unsuccessful. Valdor then reached down and flipped Leman to the floor. Leman switched to grabbing Valdor's arm, trying to pull the Custodian down with him. He didn't quite get a solid grip, and ended up on the floor. Valdor knelt and started tickling Leman's exposed belly.
Leman tried to grab Valdor's arm to stop the tickling, but was laughing too hard to really do anything. Valdor kept going for a bit, until Leman was breathless. Only then did he stop, and let Leman get up. The Emperor had entered while the tickling was happening, and his laughter joined that of the other Primarchs.
"How was the evening?" the Emperor asked.
"It went well, my king," Valdor said. "Leman had hiccups for a bit, however peanut butter helped him."
"I see," the Emperor said.
"Yeah, he had it stuck to the roof of his mouth for a bit," the Lion said. "Like Freki and Geri."
"It's not just Freki and Geri who do that," Leman said.
"Clearly," the Lion said.
"That's not what I meant," Leman said. "You know that."
"I do," the Lion said. "However, you walked right into that." Leman glared at the Lion, but left it.
"Alright, Primarchs," the Emperor said. "Time for bed." The Primarchs headed off to bed and Valdor departed for the night.
"Anything in particular that you guys want to do?" Valdor asked as he took his seat on the large couch.
"Eating contest!" Leman said, perking up a bit.
"Noooo," Fulgrim said. "Mortarion always has the worst gas after one of those."
"I wasn't thinking of challenging Mortarion," Leman said. "I was going to challenge Valdor."
"No," Valdor said. He didn't want to know what kind of eating challenge Leman had in mind.
"Please?" Leman asked.
"No," Valdor repeated. "Not tonight."
"Why not?" Leman asked.
"I need to be able to watch everyone else," Valdor said.
"Alright," Leman sighed. He pouted a bit before going back to his own activity.
There was a chime from the kitchen indicating dinner was ready. They all trooped into the dining room and ate. Leman practically inhaled his food to make up for the lack of eating challenges.
"Slow down, Leman," the Lion said. "You should chew at least a bit."
"Lion has a point," Mortarion said. "You could get hiccups."
"Or choke on something," Valdor said. Leman slowed down a bit, but still finished before anyone else.
The hiccups began after dinner. Leman was walking Freki and Geri when the first hiccups hit him. He knew that hiccups usually passed on their own without much problem. It was easy to inhale small particles of dirt, or wolf hair, and cause hiccups. There was also the fact that he had eaten very quickly, and that could cause spasms in his diaphragm that were the root of hiccups.
They had not subsided by the time he returned to the residence. He released Freki and Geri from their leashes as he entered. The others noticed his hiccups almost instantly.
"How long have you had the hiccups?" Valdor asked.
"They started *hic* on the walk, Val-*hic*-dor," Leman said. "Valdor."
"We should try a spoonful of sugar," Jaghatai said. "That's supposed to help right?"
"I think so," Horus said. The Primarchs went into the kitchen with Valdor looking on from the doorway. They found a spoon, filled it with sugar and had Leman eat it. There was a pause, and Leman hiccupped again.
Konrad snuck up behind Leman and grabbed his arm. Leman let out a startled sound, that was disrupted by a hiccup.
"That's supposed to work," Konrad said with a slight pout.
"Water?" Mortarion suggested.
"Isn't he supposed to be upside down for that one?" the Lion asked.
"We can try *hic* it once each *hic* way," Leman said. He wanted the hiccups to stop, they were beginning to get annoying. The other Primarchs agreed to that. Vulkan got two glasses of water, Perturabo and Ferrus began working on a tube system for when they hung Leman upside down. Leman was still hiccupping after his first glass of water.
"How are we going to hang Leman upside down?" Roboute asked.
"I don't know," Magnus said. Horus thought about it a moment, and then turned to look at Valdor.
"I don't think this will work," Valdor said, as he picked up Leman and turned him over. Leman managed a smile before the tube was put in his mouth. After giving him the second cup of water, Valdor set him back down on his feet. Leman hiccupped again, and growled at himself.
"I have a suggestion," Valdor said. Leman looked up hopefully. "Peanut butter."
"Peanut butter?" Magnus asked.
"It works for Fellnor," Valdor said. "It seems to calm the throat."
"I'll *hic* try it," Leman said. Valdor found another clean spoon and a jar of peanut butter. Leman took the spoonful of peanut butter and ate it. He got it stuck on the roof of his mouth and began making clacking sounds as he worked at the peanut butter.
"It seems to be working," the Lion said. Leman made a strange sound that the others soon realized was laughter. Leman soon got the peanut butter unstuck from his mouth. The hiccups had stopped.
"That's better," Leman said.
"indeed," Valdor said with a smile.
"What are we going to do now?" Alpharius asked as they headed back into the living room from the kitchen.
"I'm going to wrestle Valdor," Leman declared as he leapt at Valdor. Now that he wasn't hiccupping he wanted to release energy. He was also feeling the effects of the sugar they had tried earlier.
Valdor let Leman come, knowing that he was in no danger. Leman would have bounced off if he hadn't grabbed on to Valdor's leg. He began to try and pull Valdor's leg out from under him, and was very unsuccessful. Valdor then reached down and flipped Leman to the floor. Leman switched to grabbing Valdor's arm, trying to pull the Custodian down with him. He didn't quite get a solid grip, and ended up on the floor. Valdor knelt and started tickling Leman's exposed belly.
Leman tried to grab Valdor's arm to stop the tickling, but was laughing too hard to really do anything. Valdor kept going for a bit, until Leman was breathless. Only then did he stop, and let Leman get up. The Emperor had entered while the tickling was happening, and his laughter joined that of the other Primarchs.
"How was the evening?" the Emperor asked.
"It went well, my king," Valdor said. "Leman had hiccups for a bit, however peanut butter helped him."
"I see," the Emperor said.
"Yeah, he had it stuck to the roof of his mouth for a bit," the Lion said. "Like Freki and Geri."
"It's not just Freki and Geri who do that," Leman said.
"Clearly," the Lion said.
"That's not what I meant," Leman said. "You know that."
"I do," the Lion said. "However, you walked right into that." Leman glared at the Lion, but left it.
"Alright, Primarchs," the Emperor said. "Time for bed." The Primarchs headed off to bed and Valdor departed for the night.
Poor Konrad. If anyone should be able to scare the hiccups away, it'd be the Night Haunter. Maybe next time :p
ReplyDeletePrimarch hiccups know no fear :D
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